Daily Surrender

Thought for the day

2009-06-10T15:31:00.000-05:00

"Our sons and daughters will be grown so quickly and these days at home together will be nothing but a distant memory. Let's make the most of every moment."

--Parenting Isn't For Cowards, p. 17

I didn't see this in the real estate ad

2009-06-09T23:32:00.000-05:00

I have written a number of times about how much Em and I (and AJ) are enjoying our new home--so true! However, there have been many new things to deal with...some are less than desirable. Here is a list of a few...most of them creature/critter related.

In the last six months I have:

Trapped/killed and "disposed" of 6 mice (this one actually got a little addicting--checking the traps became a little exciting...I know, I'm weird)
Disposed of two dead rabbits brought to my attention from my lovely beagle (I'm not sure if she killed them or what happened...but I know I had to walk them both in a pooper-scooper across the street to the woods)
Bought a 25 foot plumbing snake and worked out a huge toilet clot (probably because we were flushing baby wipes which you're not supposed to do) on my hands and knees with my hands in toilet water
And finally, killed 4 or 5 centipedes

I actually just finished killing a centipede in our bedroom. This makes the list because they look like this!

I had no idea what it was so I googled it...turns out to be a centipede. But check this out, apparently they're extremely good to have in the home (I doubt I'll convince Emily)! According to a number of different web-resources I found that:

The house centipede (which is an indoor creature in the North, but mostly an outdoor dweller down South, despite its name) is a highly beneficial household helper—eating lots of fleas, ants, flies, silverfish, roaches, ticks and other pests. Forget about using insecticides against them, they ARE insecticides! Get rid of your centipedes and you will almost certainly increase the number of TRUE indoor pests in your home.

Anyway, enough of the Entomology lesson...home ownership brings lots of new and interesting challenges, that is for sure!

Two years down...life to go!

2009-05-30T20:43:00.009-05:00

Last Saturday I celebrated two years of sobriety. A few reflections and stories from my weekend of celebration!

I decided last year that I would visit The Retreat every year with my kids on my alcoholic birthday. It serves a few purposes. First of all it is a reminder to me where I was two years ago. It will always be my "home base" of recovery and always have a special place in my heart. For me, a miracle happened there--I got my life back! Secondly, it serves as another good time (especially as my kid(s) get older) to speak to them about my alcoholism and their need to be very careful with alcohol given their family history. Thirdly, it is a chance to get to meet some of the current "residents" of the facility and for the parents currently away from their family to get to play with a child. The women especially seem to enjoy this. And finally, I get to see the staff and be an encouragement to them. I can only imagine how much pain and disappointment comes with working with alcoholics. It is sad to say, but the sad stories outnumber the successes and I want to encourage them to keep on keepin on! To see last year's post click here. So all that being said, on Friday I took AJ to visit The Retreat and we had a great time. He particularly liked the path that had all 12 steps written on it...I got a great picture of him studying Step 4, which I credit as being one of the most valuable to my miracle there.

On Saturday I served for a couple hours at the Gopher State Roundup event held in Bloomington where over 7,000 other alcoholics were there sharing in the day. It was great to be a part of.

On Sunday evening I went up to The Retreat again to receive my Two-year Medallion from my sponsor. It was a really proud moment for me. It is always neat to receive the medallions there. I remember the first day at the Retreat very well...I was sleeping off my last night of drinking when they came in my room and pulled me down into the basement. Apparently there was a tornado warning. I came out of my drunk fog in this room filled with people thinking to myself "I can't do this". Now, in this very same room I get to tell how I did it, am continuing to do it, and how they can do it too if they follow the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a beautiful thing to share my experience and give back...and AA says my life depends on it!

Neighbor News

2009-05-05T16:58:00.000-05:00

First of all, Emily and I have been loving our new house. This past weekend it fulfilled two of the "dreams" we had about owning a home in a neighborhood.

The ability to accomodate family fun. On Sunday we had the entire in-laws over which included 8 adults and all three kiddie-pies. We ate on the deck, played games in the back...it was perfect. We now have the size and the yard to fit everyone who we love to be with--and a great backyard for summer shenanigans!
To get to know neighbors and be part of a neighborhood with other young families. Lately we have gotten to know two other families directly behind our house and enjoyed letting AJ and his cousins play with them and with their toys. Also, one of the families are dedicated Christians and are interested in reaching out with us to the rest of the neighborhood...needless to say I'm excited about that prospect.

On the downer side...I have no respect for the discipline philosophy of this family directly behind us. They are very permissive, do the counting thing ("one....two.....three"--argh!), and seem to be captive to the whims of their three-year-old. An example--yesterday the three-year-old was in our sandbox and his mother told me to send him home in two minutes for lunch. She returned after five, and I told her I couldn't get him to leave because I had "no leaverage", to which she responded, "yeah, me either!". No leaverage!?! You're his mom who controls privileges, spankings, time outs, etc! Yikes....I may be overreacting, but to me that was a stunning statement. I may have to watch out a little if AJ is exposed to some of this family dynamic!

All in all we feel so blessed to have this home and we are so grateful!

Be thankful it's just Swine Flu

2009-04-30T16:02:00.000-05:00

With all the talk, hype, (and yes hysteria) of Swine Flu, it was timely that yesterday I listened to an hour of radio with guest David M. Oshinsky who wrote "Polio: An American Story". I was enamoured with the account of America's battle with a REAL epidemic...Polio. I was especially interested as my grandfather Harold Bock got polio and spent the majority of his life crippled by what it had done to his body. Here is what I learned of Polio from Oshinsky:

Polio was/is a contagious intestinal disease entering through the mouth into the digestive system. Ultimately into the nervous system where nerve paralysis would occur
Polio was largely a child's disease, striking fear into everyone...especially parents
Most children contracted a mild case of polio and their bodies would make a lifetime of antibodies--but about 1 out of 100 cases the virus entered the central nervous system
There was no prevention, and no cure
At the height of the virus (the early 1950's) there were about 50,000 kids per year came down with polio...about half of which were seriously paralized and a small percentage killed
Polio came like a plague every summer infecting children--no one knows exactly why polio thrived in summer. Parents therefore kept kids indoors, out of pools, and sometimes away from friends in what was usually the happiest time of year for kids
Kids infected where kept out of movie theatres, crowds, pools...some cities even banned all children under the age of 16 from entering their town
Polio was largely a Western disease (Particularily American) because it thrived in antiseptic (clean) enviornments
Treatment included an Iron Lung in cases where paralysis made it into the lungs--Usually people would spend a few months or even a number of years in these coffin-like breathing machines. There are some cases where people have spent 30, 40, or even 50 years in them! A small number of people are still in these today after decades! Can you imagine? (See Picture)

My point in all of this is three-fold. First, it was really interesting to hear the Professor talk about the reason it thrived in the U.S.--we were so clean! Apparently this is true of other sicknesses as well. It has been shown that our obsessiveness with germs played a large role in the epidemic of polio. Oshinsky warned parents of the benefits of allowing our children to build lifetime immunities from being exposed to germs. Secondly, I am so thankful that largely because of the March of Dimes, we came up with a vaccine for this terrible virus. I'd wager most of us don't even think about it when we bring our kids in for shots. Lastly, while the Swine Flu may turn out to be a big deal (I seriously doubt it...like Mad Cow, Bird Flu, heterosexual AIDS, etc), let's be thankful we are not fighting a major epidemic like Polio. Let's keep it in perspective and not keep feeding the money-making, hysteria-inducing efforts of Mass Media!

In defense of marriage

2009-04-30T09:39:00.001-05:00

Here's a video that's really good. I think it's a video everyone should watch:

Conservatives: This may help you articulate your views when talking with friends
Liberals: You may not have ever heard an articulate explanation of conservative opposition to same-sex marriage...this may help you see "us" as having different but reasonable opinions that does not mean we are homophobic or gay-haters.

Old Poll/New Poll: This house bans guns on premises

2009-04-29T11:43:00.000-05:00

Regarding my last poll on unsafe elderly drivers 86% (wow!) of us voted that there should be mandatory drivers tests every few years for elderly drivers starting at a set age. I agree completely and that is what I voted. The bad news is...this will never happen. The elderly population is such a large and powerful portion of the population that they hold huge political power. Imagine being the polititian that suggests this new law...it would be political suicide. For now, we will have to watch out for the Buicks and Lincolns out there!

The new poll is regarding guns in the home. After a close friend had a little bit of a scare (with a drunken man angrily cursing, pounding on their front door, and trying to get in their home) I have had some discussions with people about whether they have a gun in their home or whether they would consider it. How about you? Vote!

A chick, a cowboy, a princess, and Darth Vader

2009-04-23T21:49:00.004-05:00

My great friend watched AJ today for a couple hours so I could play 9 holes of golf with my other great friend. AJ and their three kiddies appear to have had a blast playing with trains, having snacks, and apparently going trick-or-treating :-)

Check these pics out (never mind his apparent apathy, I hear he had a blast...he just takes pictures like this a lot!) I told you he loves birds.

Tuned In

2009-04-20T21:04:00.002-05:00

AJ has finally found some passions! It happens with every toddler, and most of these passions seem to be about the same for most kids...but each certainly have their favorites.

AJ's favorite things currently are:

Cars and trucks- especially mini-vans ("me's") and buses ("baa's")
Birds- He wants his DVD with bird noises and pictures playing constantly- his current favorites are ducks and eagles and he tweets and chirps all day long
Animals- especially monkeys ("aah aah ooh") and dogs ("gogie" or "wa wa")
Letters- he has learned the letters "p" and "o" and spots them everywhere
Grandparents- he cannot get enough of all four of his grandparents whether it be "ma-ma" (Grandma Kates), "bumpa" (Grandpa Jeff), "sss" (Gummies Joanne), or "Papa" (Grandpa Jimbo). Seriously...he could care less about Em and I when they're around :-)

What Em and I have noticed is that our ears have been "opened" to all the sounds of life that we block out in adulthood. I now constantly hear birds and see buses and planes to name a few. I've actually learned quite a bit from his bird DVD and can recognize and spot a number of different birds by their songs!

Children add so much to life!

A financial challenge, during financial challenge

2009-04-16T20:37:00.001-05:00

This post is inspired by and contains much content from a sermon titled "Generous" which Pastor Mark Driscoll preached during Christmas time. Having just had Easter celebrations, I figured now would be another good time to touch on generosity given the gift of salvation and forgiveness of sin that Easter accomplished.

Driscoll briefly touched on a few statistics:

In November 2008 534,000 people lost their jobs
Economists agree we are in the worst economic and real estate downturn in 20 years

So money problems are very real. His teaching continued out of 2 Corinthians 8-9 in which Paul is teaching the church in Corinth about the godly and gracious giving of the church in Macedonia. Both churches were facing an economic downturn like the one we are in now in the US. But the Corinthians were not facing the degree of financial challenge the Macedonians were. The Macedonians were facing "severe affliction, and extreme poverty" yet they had "abundant joy and overflowing generosity". They were "begging" to give generously, and showed no reluctancy. How did they do that and feel that? The only way they could, is that they did not see money as their god--they had a biblical view of money. For many in America (including professing Christians) money is their god. And that god is now dead with no hope of "resurrecting" any time soon. They are desperate, depressed, and lost without their god. Driscoll conceeds that our economic slump is very real-- but for MOST of us, we are the church in Corinth, not the church in Macedonia. Most of us have felt the pinch, seen our 401k's decrease, and seen our discretionary money dry up but are certainly not facing "severe affliction, and extreme poverty".

No matter what our circumstance, we are called to give biblically. So what is the biblical view? Jesus found it important enough that he spoke of money about 25% of the time. Everything we have is from the grace of God, and everything we have belongs to Him. Everything we have is a gift and we are not owners, but stewards. God has been generous with us (not only financially but in the humble giving of Christ for us) and we should be generous with others. If we see our money as ours, we do not feel obligated to give it or share it with anyone. If it's seen as God's money, than we feel blessed and honored and want to share it with others. In this way, God should be accurately viewed as a giver...not a taker! It is a big deal because generosity reveals the grace of God-- and that where our treasure is, our heart is. It is one of the ways that show that we belong to Jesus and understand him. If your joy is in the god of money and that god was crucified with no signs of resurrection, you have no reason for joy and generosity. If your God is Jesus, than the source of your joy and generosity is still alive and well.

Unfortunately, many of us don't get it. Here's some statistics from the book Passing the Plate (a thorough examination of Christian giving)- The worst givers statistically are:

People under the age of 25
Single adults who have never been married
Liberals (I'm not trying to make a statement here)

Just in case you don't fit the above criterion and think yourself excused from scrutiny, here's some more that may include you (and me):

Poorest Christians give the most money percentage-wise
Statistically as you make more money you give less percentage wise-- until you get to the ultra-wealthy who give at a percentage that is similar (but still less) than the poorest
More than one out of four American protestants give away no money at all- This means that more than 25% of us say "I love and worship Jesus....and do nothing for the cause" Not to mention fail to recognize giving as an act of worship and a Gospel issue.

So, this time of economic downturn is an amazing chance for us Christians to SHOW the gospel by giving generously. Not with a legalistic percentage, but each according to our financial situation. So let's give with "abundant joy and overflowing generosity" whether we are in Corinth or Macedonia...for the sake and glory of Jesus.

Old Poll/ New Poll

2009-04-14T17:10:00.002-05:00

I took another vacation from blogging, but I'm back. I will try to stay more consistent. I have a lot of fresh topics to wet your whistle!

The old poll (which is really old) had to do with the Octomom situation. I had asked what we as a society should do about this and future situations like this mother. I will address the two biggest vote getters in the poll.

1) The mother should be forbidden to have that many children in vitro. (58% of the votes) Yikes everyone. I know that option sounded like the best choice but I wonder if you all thought through how exactly that would be enforced and regulated. Would then the government be involved in some sort of legal restriction of the number of children we can have? I don't know about you, but that level of government intrusion into such a basic right (to have kids) is super scary. And what if someone violates that limit...does the mother go to jail, and/or are the children aborted?

2) She should be allowed to have them but limited in the amount of government (taxpayer) support she can recieve. (29% of the votes) This is the choice I voted for. Don't get me wrong, I do not wish poverty on the family, but this seems like the only "right" choice. She is allowed to have as many kids as she wishes (providing she cares for them well) but if she is not in a good financial situation it is the role of family, friends, church, and private organizations (like the one she is recieving support from Angels in Waiting) This would also deter future mothers from seeing this as any type of successful way to manipulate the government assistance programs.

All in all...it is a really tough and weird situation!

The new poll is regarding elderly drivers.

Yesterday I was nearly side-swiped by an elderly man who was clearly unable to drive. He wandered around both lanes going our direction (with no signal or even looking) and at one point was across the double yellow line into one of those turn lanes in the middle of the road GOING STRAIGHT!!

The new poll gives a few possible senarios for dealing with this issue that I am sure most of us have faced. Some people find it funny or even feel sorry for these drivers (I do a little too!), but seriously these drivers are as dangerous as drunk drivers (who no one finds humorous) and I find myself more frustrated, concerned, and upset than I do empathetic.

Vote away!

Back to life...back to reality!

2009-03-31T16:10:00.001-05:00

I just got back from a short trip to Phoenix. It was a birthday gift from my great wife Emily--I got a chance to go be a boy and "play" with my dad. We golfed five rounds in three days, went swimming, and went to a spring training baseball game. It was a blast and a great getaway from responsibilites at home. I also had a chance to spend some quality time with my father...all in all it was a great trip.

Here's a few pics!

"This Alcoholic is being brought to you in part by..."

2009-03-20T10:20:00.002-05:00

Well, it took over a year and a half to happen but I now have a sponsor in AA. Many of you have an idea what this is, some may not. It is basically a mentor in the program who guides you and supports you in your sobriety. Through the course of my sobriety, I have been able to go it alone...something I would not suggest to other alcoholics. The Big Book describes that the alcoholic obsession and compulsion to drink is sometimes lifted quickly, sometimes slowly. For me, it was lifted very quickly--at some point during treatment at The Retreat. I can honestly say there has not been that obsessive thinking nor a overwhelming compulsion to get drunk. It seems I am among the blessed few who don't have to battle that (for at least a while) in sobriety. Maybe God knew I was too weak in the face of that...I don't know. Anyway, that freedom from those thoughts and desires left me less than dependent on persistent participation in AA meetings and sponsorship (many alcoholic's only defense against the obsession). The only problem is that recovery is more than abstaining from drinking alcohol--it is described as a "complete psychic change, a spiritual awakening, a new way of thinking, and I like to say 'becoming a man'". So regardless of whether I fear I will drink again, I need to stay connected to this group.

I finally found an AA group I love. I tell people that finding a good AA group is like finding a good church. There have been times I have walked into a group and felt like everyone there was sober and miserable...they may as well drink, I often think. Like a good church, I wanted a group that wanted to be there, and was happy in this change that God had made in them. My new group is just that. I instantly had no excuses left for my lack of participation so I dove in. I asked a man to be my sponsor and I volunteered to serve the group (I clean up after). It amazed me how difficult it was...we (alcoholics as well as people in general) are so proud, and asking for help is a decision which requires you to humble yourself. To that point, it really requires humility when you are allowing someone to speak into your life, and to some degree you are putting them in a position of authority over you.

So far, it feels really great to be connected to a group. Meeting people is awkward, and the time commitment is a sacrifice, but in the end I was scared of becoming one of those alcoholics who relapsed after 2, 5, 10, or 20 years. A few people have asked if the reason I was doing this is because I thought I was in trouble or close to drinking....in a word, NO! I feel strong as ever, but those relapses happen all the time because we don't stick with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. A relapse for me would turn my world upside down. I am determined to never go back.

A St. Paddy's gift to you from Mr. O'Towey: If you like Coldplay then...

2009-03-17T14:48:00.002-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day. The Towey name dates back to our Irish roots according to the genealogy work my brother and dad have done. Apparently our original name was O'Towey but we dropped the 'O' because the Irish were less than accepted in this country for a long time. Another tidbit of information, the 'O' in Irish names were earned by families for their service as warriors!

My St. Paddy's day gift to you is one of music. It is an Irish band (fitting huh?) named The Script which is my new obsession. If you like Coldplay's sound...you'll like The Script's lead singers voice although the groups sound is a little more "pop". Maybe those of you who are more hip have heard of these guys before, but I hadn't until recently. Let me know if you have heard of them before and if you like it!

I included a little sample below!

If just for a day...

2009-03-16T22:58:00.008-05:00

Whether it lasts or not...we got a taste of spring today. AJ and I enjoyed some long-awaited outdoor playtime. I decided not to worry about the mud and water and let him go wild. He also got to enjoy his shiny new toy (although it is neither shiny nor new!)--his playground. Although he has been sick and extremely fussy, he rallied enough energy to have a blast.

Thought I'd share some pics!

...and a video!

Two unsavory topics

2009-03-15T09:37:00.001-05:00

I have been on a major "bad dream" streak lately. It's bizarre. I'm usually not much of a dreamer (at least I don't remember them). But lately my dreams have included my death, relapse, AJ's death, Emily's not wanting to be with me, etc. As a Psychology major in college we studied dreams some, which I thought was fascinating but a total crock! Clearly there is no science behind interpreting them. God sometimes speaks through dreams but that seems rare. So basically I'm left with trying to figure out if I'm carrying a lot of stress or not-worked-out "stuff" of life that is boiling over into the sleep realm.
AJ has been sick for 10 days now. His symptoms have run the gambit from fever, throwing up, cough, runny nose, fussiness, lack of hunger and thirst, and general malaise. It has been tiring to deal with and it seems you can feel a deep compassion and empathy at the same time as total frustration and annoyance. This morning we went in to get him up just to find some "treats" (see symptom #2) he had all over his crib...yikes.

Old Poll/New Poll: Octomom

2009-03-11T11:17:00.001-05:00

Regarding my last poll, the people have spoken and I will call the police the next time I am hassled by unleashed dogs. It makes me very uncomfortable, but I will try the "legal" approach.

My new poll is about a very popular current topic--"Octomom"

If you aren't up to date on the story please click here. To sum it up, a single woman with six kids recently had eight more after going through in vitro fertilization.

I have been unable to form a solid opinion on this whole situation. So here's a rambling list of my thoughts and concerns:

I don't like this woman's decision to have 14 children on her own
However, I don't like the idea that the law, government, or any agency would ever have the authority to restrict reproductive rights of individuals (can anyone say China?)
I am concerned about how she will pay for the immense cost of these children--reports are she was already on welfare--are we willing to help her pay for her decision to have a family of this size?
It also concerns me moving into the future if the US goes the route of universal health care. Wouldn't the government be forced to allow and forbid certain activities (i.e. if water was free wouldn't the government have to regulate how much we could use?)
I hate to see the disregarding of importance of fatherhood. It always bothers me a little when single women decide they want to be a mother. Don't children deserve a mom and a dad? Or do we buy the prevailing thought in this culture that moms and dads don't have anything unique to bring to the parenting table?

I'd love to hear others thoughts and please vote on my poll!

We're done as a society: Don't Go Girl!

2009-03-06T17:57:00.000-06:00

I have been sitting on this (no pun intended) for a week wondering if it is too crass for a "sophisticated" blog. But I must include it in a Done as a Society post. I cannot figure out how to embed this video...so please click HERE and watch (it's best with volume on).

I have so many questions about how this product works and why it exists. But ladies do not "Go Girl". It's just weird.

White shirts and name tags riding their bikes to hell...

2009-03-06T00:43:00.004-06:00

A good topic for the approaching springtime...Mormons! They will soon be around your neighborhood sharing their beliefs. We are called by God to be prepared to share what we believe and why. Do you know what the differences between Mormonism and Christianity are? I didn't for years and so I educated myself enough to have an answer.

My sis-in-law Rach had a good post discussing her recent experience with some LDS church members. I posted a long, rambling comment...leave one yourself!

PS- I stole the title to this post from someone else...so don't hate!

The numbers are in...it's that bad!

2009-02-25T17:10:00.001-06:00

If you have been able to control your eyes and not look at the bottom of this post, then take a guess where the Minneapolis/St. Paul metro area ranked nationally in traffic congestion (out of the 100 most congested metro areas).

Well the numbers are in and they are surprisingly (or not surprisingly depending on your view) bad for us. We ranked the 10th worst congested metro area in the entire country. So your frustrations may have just been validated! Here's the top ten:

1. Los Angeles

2. New York

3. Chicago

4. Dallas/Fort Worth

5. Washington D.C.

6. Houston

7. San Francisco

8. Boston

9. Seattle/Tacoma

10. Minneapolis/St. Paul

That's worse than Phoenix, Philadelphia, and Miami to name a few...and that's with a smaller population. Yikes. I thought this was very intriguing.

For more check out this link for the site:
http://scorecard.inrix.com/scorecard/

...and this one for more in depth statistics (they are really interesting!) :
http://scorecard.inrix.com/scorecard/Top100Metros.asp

Prayer to the sky fairy

2009-02-24T13:47:00.001-06:00

The deeper I get into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous...the more confused I am by the "spiritual" aspect of it. The founders of AA came from a distinctively Christian viewpoint, but in an effort to broaden it's reach, dropped many specific references to God and inserted the phrase "Higher Power". AA is welcoming (as it should be) and encouraging to all faiths and says half-jokingly that your higher power can be anything outside yourself. Still, God is mentioned and many of the meetings end in the Lord's Prayer. Are you confused by the Christian/welcoming to all beliefs/feel free to make your higher power a doorknob philosophy?? So am I.

Here are the problems this has presented for me:

Taking a sponsor (most of whom would be non-Christian) seriously. If this person is a mentor for my recovery, and recovery is reliant upon a higher power, can I possibly seek the counsel of someone who doesn't know Christ? So far, my answer is no. If you don't know Jesus, you cannot spiritually mentor me, a follower of Christ.
The "Spiritual Advisor" is a position I would love to hold at a place like The Retreat, where I got sober. The man who holds that position is a former Jesuit Priest and said the words "I'd like to see you in my position down the road". I believe God has gifted me with some strengths that would help me really thrive in that type of a position...and it's very attractive to me. The problem is, how could I possibly take a position in which I was a "Spiritual Advisor" without being free to endorse and promote Christ as the answer? Would it be acceptable to my savior from sin and alcoholism? Or would I have to see it as my job to help people get sober first, then allow Christ to work in their lives down the road?
This problem is the main reason I'm writing this post. I strongly believe in AA's assertion that a spiritual awakening is imperative to recovery. This includes A LOT of prayer. However, scriptures teach us that God is not accessible through prayer to non-believers. We pray by the power of the Holy Spirit, through Jesus, to the Father. Without the Spirit or Jesus, do people have access to the Father? My favorite pastor in the world, Mark Driscoll, describes this as "lobbing prayers to Sky Fairy". It is a very "new age" like thought to think it doesn't matter who you're praying to. It does, and I question whether those in recovery praying to an unknown god have received an answer from God, or if perhaps there is power in acknowledging "a god" in general.

Any comments on any of my rambling questions are welcomed!

Adieu my good friend

2009-02-23T08:17:00.002-06:00

Em and I made the decision to bid adieu to AJ's morning nap starting Thursday. This is only blog-worthy because it is sad for me. His morning naptime was one of my favorite times of the day. Whether I was napping or cleaning or having some quiet time...it was great. I know as we (Lord willing) continue to add little ones to this family, that I will never quite have it like I have. Parenting can require so much personal sacrifice based upon what is best for your child! These little sacrifices are harder for me than the big ones...it's tough. Anyway, I am sure AJ will do great...it's me that will have to shut off the Golf Channel a little earlier so I can get all my sleep at night!

Release...not reload

2009-02-17T20:41:00.004-06:00

All loving and attentive parents work very hard. It is natural to want and even need a break from our kids, or at least a break from the "daily grind". Whether it be vacations with your kids present, or a getaway just for mom and dad many of us look for chances to catch our breath. This seems to be especially true for stay-at-homers such as myself.

It often is stated something like this, "...I just need a few days to relax, recover, and reload".
In my own experience as a dad, and from listening to other parents discuss these breaks I am finding that these getaways do not deliver what we'd hoped they would. Soon after it is stated something like this, "...I've only been back for a few days and it's back to how it was before". This can be disappointing. Generally speaking, it seems the stress, frustrations, and fatigue do not melt away in our breaks from daily life whether we were away for a few days or a few weeks.

I am sure there are some who have not found this to be true...I would love to hear what they believe they did right to get "reloaded". But for the rest of us, I wonder if we should view our golf outings, vacations, and mom and dad getaways for what they are...a break and release from the hustle and bustle, that ends when it's over. If we have realistic expectations, perhaps we can deal with things "being back to how it was after only a couple days" much better. It's a release...not a reload.

Who let the dogs out...woof, woof %&#@!!

2009-02-12T14:59:00.030-06:00

The last poll is complete and I feel vindicated. The surprise to me is that 61% of you felt 2-3 years old was the time to stop allowing you girl into the men's bathroom. I thought that 4-5 (39%) would be the majority. Either way, I realize I was right in finding a 7 or 8 year old girl in the men's restroom to be completely innappropriate.

This next poll I am giving you a new power. I will do what the majority of you tell me to do! Here is my dilemma:
Three times in the last few months I have encountered a problem that seriously enrages me. I am out walking my dog (sometimes with Andrew in a stroller) and I am charged by dogs off-leash in front of their house (once at a park). The second time of the three, my sweet little Patriot was ganged up on by two dogs until I lifted her by the throat (her leash) up into my arms. The other two times I high-tailed it out of there because I had AJ with me and I am not going to put him in harms way. The fact is that all three times I was walking on the street or sidewalk and never in anyone's yard. This scenario seriously makes me rage. A dog owner should NEVER have a dog off-leash unless they are in complete verbal control of them, OR if the dogs are extremely nice/apathetic to strange people and dogs. Just yesterday I had to walk myself, AJ, and patriot down the middle of a street just so the dogs wouldn't charge. What do I do about this? Do I call the police...which feels like you're being that jerk who calls the police about anything? Do I confront the owners...which usually gets a very angry/screw you/don't tell me what to do with my dogs kind of response? Or do I do whatever it takes to keep everyone safe and just suck it up...nothing I do will likely change anything?

Please vote on the new poll and whatever wins, I will do the next time this happens! Whatever it is, has to be better than my past responses which include cursing to myself and fuming for an hour or so.
Should I:

Call the police- it is technically against the law to have your dog off leash at a park and I'm assuming it is at home as well if the dogs want to attack every passer by
Take the dog and child home and return to the house to calmly confront the owner
Walk in the street, cross the road, or turn around and head back...let it go. It is a battle you won't win.

I am not a leash-nazi. I just believe every dog owner should know whether or not their dog can be trusted. Know thydog!!

Top ten signs you attend a mega-church

2009-02-06T16:22:00.015-06:00

Here's an attempt at Letterman-like humor written from personal experience. Hope you enjoy.

The top ten signs you attend a mega-church:

10. There are more services on Sunday than show times for Slumdog Millionaire

9. The local police literally shut down stoplights and direct traffic in and out of your church

8. Two words: Church marketing

7. You scan an ID card with a barcode when you enter to record your attendance

6. Controversial topics are avoided like a leper in OT times

5. Your church coffee shop and bookstore are nicer than your local Barnes & Noble/Starbucks

4. You’ve never spoken with the Senior Pastor

3. Running into a someone you know is more exciting than when it happens at the mall

2. Members are asked to park across the street because of parking space problems

1. Like the 8th inning of a bad baseball game, dozens of people leave before the last series of worship songs to beat the traffic

Word World-aholic

2009-02-05T08:20:00.018-06:00

A couple months back I decided it would be okay to expose AJ to a few age-appropriate shows on PBS. He was completely indifferent to all but one, Word World. He now loves it, asks for it ("whir whir") and dances and sings along with the show. It is super cute and a great quick break for me. There is some learning as it all has to do with words and spelling, and there's music. However, I obviously have been limiting how much he can watch...I'm interested in hearing a quick comment for some people how much I should let a 16-month old watch (Not what doctors or child psychologists say, but what actual parents say!)

If you haven't seen the show....here's a short clip.

We're done as a society: Super-slease

2009-02-04T09:18:00.001-06:00

Did you hear this story folks?

Apparently, approximately 80,000 people in Tucson, AZ were shocked when the Superbowl broadcast suddenly broke into a 30-second pornographic video clip.

Comcast said it planned to issue a 10-dollar credit to subscribers whose
broadcast of the final minutes of the game was interrupted by a scene from a
pornographic movie in which a woman unzips a man's pants and performs a sexual
act.

We're done as a society when:
- We can't trust our cable company not to show porn during the Superbowl!
- When they issue a $10 credit to "show how seriously they are taking this mistake"

Yikes...I would be ticked off if my 5 year old saw that!

Patience & Pride

2009-02-03T14:16:00.004-06:00

A good post by my friend Brenton regarding a discussion we had yesterday at IHOP. Here's a tease:

Had some pancakes with my buddy Jon yesterday and talked a some life stuff. Good time. One thing we talked about was how often when we feel like we are battling against anger and impatience we are really battling against pride.

Old Poll/New Poll

2009-02-01T20:16:00.018-06:00

Regarding my last poll, I agree with 60% of you who believe the Guantanamo Bay facility should remain open. In my eyes, the most important action of the government is to protect us and these are very dangerous people. These folks have not exactly been rehabilitated either, see story of released Gitmo detainee who rejoined al-Qaida in Yemen and is now their #2. I fear more of this after Guantanamo is shut down. In my opinion, they do not have the right to a trial, nor does their treatment fall under the Geneva Convention because they are not part of a military.

On to the lighter side of polls. This question (and perhaps a few more of my topics this week) came to me while on vacation.

While in Disney World this past week I walked into a Men's restroom walked up to a urinal, looked right, and locked eyes with what I think was a 6 or 7 year old little girl waiting for her dad to finish using the restroom. I promptly went into a stall for some privacy.

For you parents out there- How old is it appropriate to bring a girl into a Men's restroom?

A sidebar- I believe this issue is different for boys in a Women's restroom because it is all stalls. And if you'd like, I'd love to hear ideas for what a Dad is to do with a girl too old to enter if he is alone?

AA Wisdom

2009-01-27T10:14:00.000-06:00

I am fortunate enough to be very close with many other people who love Jesus. Especially with the other men I know, I am able to know, and help other men with their particular areas of struggle against sin. There is a phenomenon I have come to discover...we love to leave the door open for sin. In everything from pornography to gossip I see people (including myself) leaving doors open by not "setting themselves up for success". Sure, no one likes to answer to people, nor feel like a child...but there is always a way to help yourself stay accountable.
In AA circles there is a saying that is applicable to this phenomenon:
"If you hang out long enough in a barbershop...eventually you're gonna get a haircut"
This refers to alcoholics tendency to want to "test" themselves by going to bars, parties, and other dangerous places for someone in recovery.
Do you spend to much time in a barbershop?

New Poll!

2009-01-24T10:22:00.000-06:00

President Obama made an executive order this week to shut down Guantánamo Bay within the next year. This action will see the release, trial, or some other action to approximately 245 enemy combatants, terrorists, and otherwise very dangerous people.

How would you like to see this dilemma handled...vote now!

We're outta here!

2009-01-23T10:00:00.000-06:00

Em, AJ, and I along with the Olson family and my in-laws are outta here and headed for Disney World. We are anticipating much: warm(er) weather, swimming, and most of all we are interested to see how are little interested-in-the-world son will enjoy all the visual stimulation of Disney. It will be a fun and crazy trip with AJ and his two cousins causing havoc! One thing I am not looking forward to is a three hour flight with a child who isn't interested in being held for more than three seconds! Should be interesting!

Have a blessed week!

One big day...two different perspectives

2009-01-20T15:51:00.000-06:00

Today we inaugurate President Barack Obama. It's a good day to try to get back in the groove of posting on my blog.

There is no denying the historical significance of this day. A country which once had slavery, now electing a black man to be their leader. What is interesting is the two different takes the left and right politically have on this.

For those who are politically liberal (including most mainstream media outlets) you are hearing things like "what a big step America is making towards racial equality", "America is making progress racially", and similar statements. They see electing President Obama as the beginning of progress in race relations.

For those who are politically conservative you are not hearing those statements. You are simply hearing things like "It's a historic day". Why? Because conservatives, generally, have considered racism not to be the ever-present, powerful, destructive, pervasive force in America that liberals do.

This is not an issue I can give some sort of proof about...it's merely your opinions and experiences. But I believe the election of President Obama to be a relflection of how America is among (if not THE) least racist countries in the world. This is still the land of opportunity, and our new president is our poster-boy.

More from the "religion of peace"

2009-01-07T15:16:00.000-06:00

Violence has once again erupted in Gaza. One thing is certain. The conflicts that continue to happen between Israel and the Palestinians are tragic. But the condemnation of Israel by mainstream media and their pro-Palestine lean is upsetting. Israel does not face enemies which desire a change in policy, but rather hateful enemies that clearly articulate their goal as the annihilation of them as a people. I don't know how you resolve that diplomatically.

I included a video clip of protesters in Florida, not protesting the violence in Mumbai or elsewhere, but rather calling the Jews murderers for the death of 600 or so in Gaza. This group is connected with A.N.S.W.E.R. (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism) yet shouts that the Jews need "a bigger oven". Jew-hatred is alive and well and I for one, don't assume to tell them how and when and to what degree to defend themselves.

A big day for the Towey family

2009-01-02T23:00:00.002-06:00

Today, we bought a home! We finally closed on the house we have waited for since our offer was accepted months ago. It has been a bit of a wait! While we have had some special times living with Em's parents and being very close to mine, it is time for our family to get back under our own roof. We are so grateful for this home. It is more than we thought we'd be able to afford in Bloomington and we love the location. Em's drive to work is down to 10 or less minutes and we are close to both sets of grandparents. I am thankful to be sober and that I have received this second chance at life. I don't plan to disappoint.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
-James 1:17 (ESV)

The gift of time

2008-12-31T11:44:00.003-06:00

I have taken a brief break from blogging and have returned with plenty of new post topics to write about...so check back regularly. Sorry for the break, but I had a total writers block.

Tonight we will celebrate a New Year. I must admit, it is a holiday I never really get excited for. For years it had always seemed like just the turning of a calender page...nothing to really celebrate or honor. As I get older though, it is a good time to reflect on the year past and think about the year to come. In fact, I am even making some commitments (I refuse to call them resolutions) that a friend will hold me to.

In addition, the scientists of the world have decided to give you a gift! They are adding a second to our lives tonight at midnight so that our clocks are more accurate. This is called a leap second. I heard one scientist speculate that the huge arctic ice caps may have a ever-so-slight slowing effect on the earths rotation. Hey...I thought those were all melting?

Anyway. What are you going to do with this time added to your life:-)

Feeling "croupy"

2008-12-19T01:45:00.003-06:00

It's 1:40 am and I am up with AJ. It's the inevitable foe known as "Croup". What a distinctive virus this is...barking seal sounds and the whole nine yards. Poor little guy. Man toddlers get sick a lot...

Beware the "Poster Child"

2008-12-12T14:26:00.003-06:00

In a rehab, there are always those whose addiction has manifested itself in a more obvious manner, and there are those whose addiction has manifested itself in a less obvious manner than you. There is always one person that makes you say "now THERE'S a drug addict"...or "THERE'S an alcoholic". In my two experiences in rehab centers, this poster child would look the part- physically worn down, scars on their arms from IV drug use, and story after crazy story of what they did while wacked out on drugs or alcohol. Poster child's serve a positive purpose for an addict...a preview of what's to come if you continue to use. But the more common response goes like this "I'm not that bad", "I'll never be like that", or something of the sort. However, if your honest with yourself and battle the ever-present foe of denial, you realize you are in the SAME rehab, with the SAME problem.

I must admit, I have come to the sad realization that we Christians are REALLY good at the Poster Child Syndrome ourselves. This dawned on me a while back while wondering why there are such "hot topic" sins among believers. Try sharing with another believer that you have a porn obsession, drug addiction, homosexual temptation, alcohol problems, or that you smoke. I'd wager more often than not you will get a bigger (dare I say more judgemental) reaction. I think that is due to the same phenomenon. We admitted sinners look at a Sinner Poster Child and think, "Now THERE'S a sinner". It makes perfect sense (and I'm not even saying that I don't do the same thing) but it feeds our desire for self-righteousness.

Now, I am not a fool and realize that all sin is NOT the same in it's impact and consequences in this world. I am simply saying:

What is best for someone in recovery is to realize they have the same addict nature and behavior as the Addict Poster Child- and to focus on ourselves.
What is best for us followers of Christ is to realize we are all sinners by nature and choice...just as is the Sin Poster Child- and to focus on ourselves.

Do we have the right and obligation to call one another out on our sin....yes! But let us not diminish our own, nor succumb to self-righteousness.

I'd like your used item...and my life please!

2008-12-09T12:15:00.000-06:00

Em and I made our first Craigslist purchase the other day. We set out to replace her eliptical trainer workout machine and were hoping to get a replacement on the cheap. I had often browsed Craigslist but never had pulled the trigger on any item. I must admit that it was a little weird the first time and I took a couple precautions. I didn't bring AJ, and I brought a knife in my pocket! It's sad, but I couldn't help but think, "please don't be a serial killer". Of course, he was not and we are really happy to have made the purchase. If you've never shopped it...check it out! It is really slick.

We're done as a society: The death of more Americana

2008-12-08T09:17:00.000-06:00

We're done as a society when, according to this story, California school principles are banning bake sales in their schools.

At Piedmont High School, principal Randall Booker has enforced a zero tolerance policy for what used to be a campus tradition. "I love the bake sales," he said. "I eat them myself. But there are state laws that we just have to abide by."

"Zero tolerance policy"! That's the type of language we usually reserve for things like bringing a handgun to school...not a cupcake. I understand that obesity is a problem with kids, I just don't like this type of nanny-state/we'll-fix-all-the-problems-in-society-by-laws kind of thinking. But even more than that, I am seeing the type of things that we ALL enjoyed in our youth vanishing because of lawyers, laws, and such. My friend who is a high school teacher recently told me about a cheer their students do being banned out of some ridiculous fear of the bleachers collapsing.

"Food sales are a big part of our community," said Wendy Morrison, the mother of a fifth-grader. "They're more than just the selling of food. It's community coming together." Morrison mourns the loss. "It was actually a beloved tradition at the school."

Holy Gator!

2008-12-07T10:04:00.001-06:00

I was watching a great football game last night when I noticed something on Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow's face that looked like scripture. Sure enough it was "Phil 4:13" which is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I had no idea that last year's Heisman Trophy winner was a Christian. I looked around the internet to find that he is the son of missionaries and that he told the shocked media that his number one priority was not football or fame or a dating relationship. He boldly told them that his number one priority was his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, his Lord and Savior. In fact, he told the folks that "football came in fourth", right behind his family and relationships with others. I love sports, but let's face it- athletes like Tebow are refreshing breaks from the egos and legal trouble that litter the sports world.

Stuff my stocking with...a more accurate hermeneutic!

2008-12-05T20:14:00.002-06:00

One of my Christmas gift ideas for Em to get me was a Bible with a new (to me) translation. My favorite preacher and teacher, Mark Driscoll, is a big proponent of the English Standard Version (ESV) translation...and it got me thinking. I have never questioned or explored any other translations of the book I believe to be the word of God and vital to my growth and relationship with God!?! I grew up on the NIV and have only ever owned a NIV translation. Shame on me. So I've done a little research and thought I'd share a little of what I discovered as I educated myself.

The NIV is referred to as a "paraphrase". Which means as far as I can gather, that in an effort to make the text more "readable", the translator does much of the interpretation that perhaps the reader ought do for themself. Which means, as I am reading this I am getting a somewhat filtered translation. I happened upon a great article written by John Piper (who often works alongside Driscoll) about why his church, Bethlehem Baptist, uses the ESV. He wrote:

In the following examples of NIV paraphrasing compared to the more literal ESV there are four convictions at stake.
1. A more literal translation respects the original author's way of writing. It is a way of honoring the inspired writers.
2. Translators are fallible and they may mislead the English reader if they use unnecessary paraphrases to bring out one possible meaning and conceal others.
3. A more literal translation gives preachers more confidence that they can preach what the English text says with authority that it reflects what the original Greek or Hebrew text says.
4. A more literal translation which preserves ambiguities that are really there in the original keeps open the possibility of new insight by future Bible readers.
Romans 3:20

ESV: "By works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight."
NIV: "No one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law."

Romans 11:11
ESV: "Did they stumble in order that they might fall. By no means!"
NIV: "Did they stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all!"

Romans 13:8

ESV: "Owe no one anything, except to love each other."
NIV: "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another."

Hebrews 6:1
ESV: " . . . not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works."
NIV: ". . . not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death."

1 Peter 1:20
ESV: "He was foreknown before the foundation of the world."

NIV: "He was chosen before the creation of the world."

I know to many of you this may seem like splitting hairs and that these scripture examples aren't exactly mind-blowing differences. The problem is that someone (a translator) is making some choices in their paraphrase rather than letting you (and the Holy Spirit in you) come to your own understanding of a passage.

I along with Piper believe that both versions are the inspired word of God. However, while the NIV has helped bring "millions of people to faith", that perhaps it is time that it is replaced with "a more literal, and yet a beautifully readable, memorizable Bible—the English Standard Version."

...I like to think of it like I'm gonna "graduate" to a more literal translation. Even if it means a little more mental work!

How about you....have you considered pulling away from the dominance of the NIV?

...the only cure is more cowbell

2008-12-04T13:22:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the delay in posts. This week has been busied with AJ being sick. He has a fever that spikes to 103-104.5 at night which means lots of awake time in the wee hours of the night and morning. Em and I have done our best to keep him happy and he is a real trooper...it's us who are really dragging. This has been only his second illness and first time battling a high fever in his short life. If nothing else there has been some sweet time of just holding him that a healthy AJ doesn't allow for!

We're done as a society Friday: Death by discount shopper

2008-11-28T21:53:00.000-06:00

A Walmart employee was trampled to death in Arkansas today according to this NY Post story:

"When the doors opened, all hell broke loose," a law enforcement source told The Post. Police said about 2,000 people were gathered outside the Wal-Mart doors before its 5 a.m. opening. The impatient crowd knocked the employee, identified by police as Jdimytai Damour of Queens, to the ground as he opened the doors, leaving a metal portion of the frame crumpled like an accordion. He was rushed to a local hospital but declared dead at 6:03, police said. Four other people were hospitalized, including a 28-year-old pregnant woman. She was knocked to the store floor a short distance from where the 34-year-old man was trampled and her fate was unclear. The other three people taken to hospitals suffered minor injuries.

It is so mind-blowing to me to think that a person's life (someone with a brother, a mother, a child...) was ended because of a stampede to save money on Walmart sale items like a TV, digital camera, vacuum, and
DVD's.

More than turkey, football, and family

2008-11-27T11:08:00.000-06:00

As a recovered alcoholic, thankfulness and gratitude is key to my ability to remain sober. Today marks a day that I am joined by others in looking at all the blessings God has given us. In James it says that EVERY good and perfect gift is from above which includes the big and the little things in our life!

Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving as a National Holiday in the midst of the Civil War on October 3, 1863. He wrote:

“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.”

Thanks for the Lincoln info Jimbo.

Barber and bubbles

2008-11-25T15:10:00.001-06:00

AJ got his first haircut (at a salon) last night. It went better than we could have hoped for! He sat there peacefully and enjoyed the entertainment around him.

His favorite part was at the end (during the clippers part of the haircut) when they shot bubbles all over which he called "balls". We continue to feel like we have such a little champ.

We're done as a society Friday: Diversit-e-harmony

2008-11-21T09:38:00.001-06:00

A friend recommended to me that this may be a good weekly topic for me to blog on. I guess I always have interesting small stories that I read, hear on the radio, or come across in my own life that I believe are indicators of the deterioration of our society...or maybe he was just sick of hearing them? The title was inspired from a little-liked radio host on AM 1130.

So hear it goes...week one.

We are done as a society: Diversit-e-harmony

The most successful online matchmaking website eHarmony has settled in a civil rights settlement in New Jersey and has agreed to offer gay and lesbian matches.

According to the LA Times story

Eric McKinley, who works at a nonprofit in New Jersey he declined to identify, said that he had originally heard of EHarmony through its radio ads. "You hear these wonderful people saying, 'I met my soul mate on EHarmony.' I thought, I could do that too," he said. But he couldn't. When he tried to enter the site, the pull-down menus had categories only for a man seeking a woman or a woman seeking a man. "I felt the whole range of emotions," McKinley said. "Anger, that I was a second-class citizen." But instead of just surfing over to a dating site that admits gay lonely hearts, he contacted the New Jersey civil rights division to file a complaint. The settlement also calls for EHarmony to pay $50,000 to the state for administrative costs and $5,000 to McKinley.

eHarmony has opted to create a new site rather than change their heterosexual matchmaking site. The new site is called Compatiblepartners.net.

This is a "we're done as a society" story because of the continuing activism from judges and lawyers who continue (such as in California with Proposition 8) to defy the will of the people and impart their values and beliefs. To disagree with the very active gay rights movement is often to be described as a homophobe or hate-filled. While I support civil unions and all such rights to gay partnerships, I do not support the redefinition of marriage nor this type of forced acceptance upon a private business entity.

The view is nice, in the eye of the storm

2008-11-20T15:50:00.000-06:00

I am so much enjoying AJ at about 14 months. I can't help but feel like I am currently in the eye of the storm- we are currently not dealing with all the "baby" issues that come before one year, and we don't have the defiance and temper-tantrums that come at age 2 and 3.

While all stages have their pros and cons. This age is a ton of fun.

Will this last all year?

Old Poll/ New Poll

2008-11-18T14:09:00.004-06:00

The voters (on my blog) have spoken and 82% of you believe Obama will govern from the Left or moderate left rather than as a moderate. Only time will tell, his cabinet appointments have given indications he may go either way.

A new poll is up and I'd love to hear a comment or two on this one. It is a truly random topic but one I have no opinion on yet.

Em and I recently rented Baby Mama (a decent comedy for a light hearted mood). In the movie, the main character was a single woman who attempted to use a surrogate to carry a baby for her using a sperm donor.

My poll is regarding donating and/or using donated sperm. Is there any conflict with this practice in a Christian's life?

As a man, is there any biblical reason I shouldn't donate?
As a woman, is there any biblical reason you shouldn't use a donor?

I know this poll is a little out there...just help me deal with my curiosity and give your two cents!

Veteran's Day and my generation

2008-11-12T21:43:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was Veteran's day. For most, it gets little more than a passing thought especially for those my age and younger. It is unfortunate to see how little the younger generations think about the sacrifices of veterans. Why such a apathy exists may be because we have enjoyed a peace that seems uncommon in American history. We did not live through a World War, Vietnam, Korea, and the idea of being drafted is almost unbelievable. In fact, until the September 11 attack and ensuing terrorism, our generation did not face a great threat as most of us were quite young at the height of the Cold War. Sometimes I worry that our security and freedom could be endangered if the younger generations fail to understand what veterans have done and what soldiers roles will need to be in the future. After all, it is said that it was the soldier who freed the Jews from the Nazis, it was the soldier that freed Kuwait, it was the soldier that captured Sadaam Hussein.

Ronald Reagan said that:

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."

Thanks Dad and all other vets for their sacrifice and bravery for the cause of my freedom.

Redbox etiquette: A lesson in social norms and mores

2008-11-08T09:05:00.000-06:00

For any of you out of state who may not have Redbox yet, it is a movie rental kiosk found at local McDonalds and grocery stores. It is supposed to be a cheap, fast, and convienient way to rent movies. After what must have been my tenth frustrating trip to my local Redbox, I feel the need to voice my beliefs in proper "Redboxing" behavior.

Here's the common courtesy as I see it:

A Redboxer who is going to search page...after page....after page through the various movie titles should ask the person behind them if they already know what they want or if they are picking up an online rental: If they are...allow them to quickly rent their movie rather than stand in line behind you for 10 minutes!
A Redboxer who is going to rent a movie should allow a person behind them to return a movie if that is all they need to do. It takes 15 seconds to return a movie!
Or, to solve all of these problems everyone could simply log on to http://www.redbox.com/ and view what titles are available at a particular Redbox and rent them online...saving everyone else a painful wait.

If you are a "Redbox lingerer"- please consider these simple steps!

An honest answer...finally.

2008-11-07T10:56:00.000-06:00

Finally someone admits the "agenda" of SNL. I don't mind the bias, I mind the denial. There's no denying that SNL's recent political parodies were hilarious.

Watch Chevy Chase admit his agenda from the 70's, and then watch Lorne Michaels deny a bias.

A new site, for new interest

2008-11-06T18:54:00.002-06:00

This political season drew many new folks into the political world. I listed a new website in my "Websites I visit" tab on my blog.

The site is http://www.realclearpolitics.com/. It is a site that posts the best articles on both sides of the political isle.

Check it out and stay informed!

New President, New Poll

2008-11-05T14:51:00.001-06:00

Congratulations to Barack Obama and the democrats on their impressive victory and campaign. I got into politics shortly after September 11 and have not known the bitter taste of defeat in a presidential campaign until now. I also acknowledge what a great historic moment it is for America to elect a black president. As Shelby Steele wrote in the LA Times today "For the first time in human history, a largely white nation has elected a black man to be its paramount leader."

He will be my president and I will be praying he leads our country well. I am a patriot first and foremost.

A new poll is up regarding the president-elect.

Obama's record indicates that he is as far left as any president ever elected (his speaches and voting record in the past) but many of his speaches in the campaign indicated some moderate-left to moderate views and talk of bi-partisanship and unity among the parties (which can only come from a moderate presidential position). How do you think he will act as president?

How Would Jesus Vote?

2008-11-03T10:09:00.000-06:00

I got my first chance to read and review a book for my blog. The book sent to me by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Company (connected with Random House Publishing)

The book is "How would Jesus Vote?" by Dr. D. James Kennedy.
I did not get to finish the book in time for this review but read the first four chapters and skimmed the rest. From what I read, the book does not necessarily break down the platforms of Democrats and Republicans, but rather makes the argument that Christians should be politically active, and that one CAN come to the conclusion that a candidate is in line with biblical truth. This, to me, was a refreshingly bold assertion.

On the critical side, this book was clearly written from what might be considered a "Christian Right" perspective. The style in which Kennedy writes would likely not be persuasive to someone coming from a politically liberal perspective. What it may do though, is help moderates and conservatives more clearly articulate and defend their viewpoint...a worthwhile reason to read.

Here is the summary from the publisher:

The 2008 election is shaping up to be one of the most important political
contests in American history. In fact, Dr. D. James Kennedy believes it will be
a watershed moment that could impact our very survival as a nation under
God.Values voters—people whose political views and votes are based on their
faith in God—are being targeted as never before. As the campaign season moves
forward, the significant players will debate terrorism, radical Islam, nuclear
threats, global warming, social issues, gay marriage, immigration, education,
health care, and many other essential issues that can create sharp ideological
divisions. Into this overwhelmingly complex political situation, Dr. Kennedy and
Jerry Newcombe bring a clear, compelling, and nonpartisan exploration of what
God’s Word has to say on these critical matters. How Would Jesus Vote? isn’t
intended to tell readers which candidates to support; rather it offers a
Christ-centered understanding of the world to help readers draw their own
political conclusions.

Autumn Fun

2008-11-02T21:22:00.005-06:00

Yesterday AJ had his first good "romp" in fall leaves. For some reason, this is one of those things I pictured when I thought about being a parent. He has been so much fun lately (that I haven't made much time for blogging :-) He has been exploring outside, playing with rocks, leaves, and sticks and really starting to notice things like lawn mowers, airplanes in the sky, dogs ("wa-wa's") and cars ("ca's") He has become such an active little man who becomes easily bored with toys and playing inside that a big part of me is dreading the wintertime cold.

Divisive Boone: Excluding of women, minorities, international students and faculty? What?

2008-10-28T19:09:00.004-05:00

I heard a story last week on the radio that caught my attention and made me want to laugh and cry at the same time!

Denver University (the Pioneers) have "retired" their mascot "Boone". Their reasoning for this move is confusing and nonsensical.

“The old Boone figure is one that does not reflect the broad diversity of the DU community and is not an image that many of today’s women, persons of color, international students and faculty, and others can easily relate to as defining the pioneering spirit...This runs counter to our commitment to build a diverse and inclusive campus community as a fundamental element of excellence. The University simply cannot adopt an official mascot that has a divisive rather than a unifying influence on our community.”

Can someone please tell me how this mascot is offensive in any way and how women, minorities, international students and faculty feel that it is not inclusive? This is not a rhetorical question, I really am confused. Is it the coon-skin hat, the fact that he is "so male", or something else I'm missing? Universities are getting so ridiculous with their political correctness.

AJ at 13 months

2008-10-24T09:34:00.005-05:00

I never posted on our little man turning one so I thought I'd write a little about my favorite little guy. He currently is a very happy, playful boy with his favorites activities being: the "gonna get you" game (chasing him around), playing with toy or real telephones by putting them up to his ear, hanging out with both sets of grandparents, giving his sign language sign for thirsty (which to him means I want something and you have to figure out what), and chasing around his cousins. He currently has three "words" the first of which was "bip be" (his version of bippie meaning his pacifier), "wa wa", short for woof woof (the dog), and as of yesterday "ca ca" short for cracker. He also willingly gives hugs and kisses (which sometimes leads to tackles when he's hugging other toddlers) and acts affectionately.

I added a couple videos for anyone who hasn't seen him in walking action. We feel so blessed to have him and are very thankful to God for AJ.

AA Wisdom- Step Six

2008-10-23T13:37:00.001-05:00

At a recent AA meeting, the hour was focused on step 6 of the 12-step program. It reads that we...

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

At first glance this may seem like a no-brainer of a step. "Sure, I'm screwed up so I'll gladly let God fix me." Why is such an easy and simple step one of the 12? Well, it is there because it is neither easy nor simple. Step six is the first step to look into the future. Steps one through five all deal with the past...six is the first to begin a transformation. Much like a new believer who has dealt with asking for forgiveness of sin and a savior, he must look to the Spirit to help him become more holy.

The authors of the 12-steps (and the Christian influence and wisdom they brought to the table) knew that our defects of character are extremely difficult to allow God to change. We tend to cling to our defects (and/or sin). I, for one, have had a difficult time allowing God to remove fear from my character. For some reason, I want to hold on to my fear like a child with his blanket. It is one of a few of the 12 steps that are a continual pursuit rather than a one-time accomplishment. While I do not pray daily for God to remove my character defects, it is something that is part of my program on a semi-regular basis.

So what about you? Do you have some character defects that you are clinging to?

Hard to see...important to see

2008-10-22T19:25:00.000-05:00

Quite possibly the most disturbing video I've ever seen.

If you support abortion, you should be man (or woman) enough to see the reality.

It's funny, Oprah makes sure we see abused dogs and chickens on her show...what about showing these images.

click here. Thanks Brenton.

Poll Analysis

2008-10-18T23:19:00.001-05:00

More than half of you voted in my last poll that you would prefer to discover your teenage child smoked than had cheated on a test. This is a question I ripped of from Dennis Prager because I thought it was telling of our societal focus.

I voted that I would rather discover my child smoked. Why? Because smoking is primarily a health issue, whereas cheating on a test is a character and integrity issue. The anti-smoking crowd (and believe me, I don't enjoy being around smokers either) have become somewhat hysterical in their opposition to smoking.

Regarding this poll, I understand that we would prefer our children make healthy choices, but aren't there values higher and more important than health. I believe that our health (and yes even our lives at times)are not as important as doing what is right. I also think scripture would back me up.

I realize this is an "unfair" poll, we would prefer our kids to do neither. But given the choice, I'll take a child with strong character over one who makes some poor health choices.

Any response from the "cheat on their exams" crowd?

A NEW POLL IS UP!

Handle prosperity well (for dummies)

2008-10-09T23:17:00.003-05:00

It is frustrating, but all too true that in pain comes progress, and in suffering comes growth. Why it is that we (as a group) do not seem grow in success as much as in suffering probably is due to our sinful nature and that we are prone to idolatry (self, or otherwise).

Alcoholics must be ever-so aware that in long-term sobriety, over-confidence and a neglect of one's relationship with God leads to relapse and back to pain and suffering. The Big Book says:

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition"

In long-term sobriety for the alcoholic, the deceitful voice in my head may say "look at everyone else drinking normally, I could do that", "you can control it this time", or "am I really an alcoholic?"

In good times as a Christian, the voice in my head may say "things are going great...maybe I'll skip church", "I'll get to my Bible reading later", or even worse I don't say anything to myself because I'm just not thinking about Jesus.

Being around alcoholics in early recovery (from one day to one year) there is a desperation that is contagious. They are there (in treatment or an AA meeting) because their pain is current and their life depends on some drastic change and effort. In the same way, being around a new believer in Christ there is a passion about God that many of us struggle to maintain in day-to-day living. The way I see it, the problem is clear. Why do we feel closest to God when we are at our rock-bottom lows? Because in these times, there is no doubt in our minds that we are not God, that we cannot fix whatever our problems are, and that realization focuses our attention upward. But it is when times are good, that the long battle against apathy is fought.

For my first 16 months of recovery, it has been a battle at times to maintain my focus. It is desirable but not smart for me to forget what I was and where I've come from. In the Big Book it says that we are neither to dwell on the past, nor are we to close the door on it. In my Christian walk, it is desirable (in my flesh so to speak) but not smart for me to neglect repenting, praying, attending church, and the knowledge that I am NOT in ultimate control of my world. So much like the "For Dummies" book series, I have tried to come up with a simply formula for myself to handle "prosperity" well in my life. These actions have worked in both my recovery and faith walk:

Community (Church/Bible Study, and AA) -You get around others and learn from the wise, and are inspired and reminded by the newcomers
Prayer- At it's very least, a reminder that we are not God. At it's best, fostering our relationship with Christ
Read (Bible and Big Book)- TRUTH from the Bible, wisdom from the Big Book

Those three things help me from growing apathetic in both pursuits. I'm curious if anyone has any other ways to keep yourself grounded and focused when times are good?

New Poll

2008-10-07T22:16:00.000-05:00

A new poll is up regarding a teens behavior. I've heard Dennis Prager ask this question and it gets some interesting discussion.

Vote and comment away!

Wishing Ill on Il, and OJ Simpson

2008-10-05T23:16:00.001-05:00

I am going to admit something that certainly isn't "PC". There are times that I wish bad things to happen to "bad people". I put "bad people" in quotes because I need to define this briefly. I understand the Christian view (which I do hold) that we are ALL bad in a salvation sense. Yes- we have all sinned and that the sins, whatever they may be, leave us deserving God's judgement, save for Jesus and substitonary atonement. However, I do not hold that simply "sin is sin". Stealing a pen from the office and the rape of a child is not the same in this world and I believe that a just God doesn't view those equally either. That being said, I often feel alone in being willing to admit that I do wish for bad things to happen to those who have commit evil acts.

Two examples from recent news I am willing to admit:
1) Kim Jong-il. With the recent news of his stroke I found myself wishing he would die. That sounds terrible, but the man is responsible for so much human suffering (killings, concentration camps, etc) that I don't understand how a compassionate person WOULDN'T want to see this dictator dead.
2) OJ Simpson. He was found guilty of robbery and kidnapping on Friday and could spend the rest of his life in prison. I hope he does because I believe he killed two people.

For those of you who may be yelling at your computer "What about GRACE!?!". Isn't that the teachings of Christ. My answer to that is that I do hope they come to know Christ and he can have grace and mercy on their soul, but aren't we supposed to be fostering justice on this Earth? To use Dennis Prager's line, I feel like this is so clear that it would take someone who went to graduate school to be confused.

So have at me. Call me what you will, but sometimes I hope for bad things to happen to "bad people".

So who's uncomfortable with this? Let me know your thoughts.

Random Things About Me

2008-10-03T10:03:00.000-05:00

I got tagged by my friend Steph, and thought I should participate. In case any of you find random things about me interesting...here you go.

Here are the rules:

1.Post the rules on your blog
2.Write 6 random things about yourself
3.Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4.If you are tagged, just do it, and pass the tag along!

I have weird feet. I have sideways curving toes! I have always had them and believe they run in the family on my mom's side. I used to be a little embarassed of them but now couldn't care less. Additionally, I have completely flat arches and extremely narrow feet.
I might be the most inflexible person you will ever meet. It used to get me mad because flexibility was always the category that would prevent me from getting the Presidential Fitness award in school. I took years of karate where I stretched regularily and it didn't help. I have never been able to stand and touch my toes and cannot sit "Indian Style".
I have broke my collarbone three times. The worst of these was in Ninth grade when I was launched from a trampoline...I vowed to never set foot on one again, and I never have.
My favorite worldly possession is my Tivo box. Not a DVR, but Tivo-brand Tivo! I absolutely love having it for sports and shows and rarely watch a commercial. I don't have a great desire for a 16:9 television, and don't care if I have Hi-def...but Tivo is a must for me.
I am a total "home-body". A perfect night for me is spent at home with my wife, baby boy, and dog. Even extremely fun activities that take me away from home are somewhat unattractive initially.
I have a Pterygium growth on my left eye. It is a benign tumor-like growth that is thought to be caused by environmental factors (specifically ultra-violet light). It is incurable, will be with me for life, and it is possible I'll need eye surgery someday if it affects my vision. I now have to wear sunglasses at all times outside and constantly have a "racoon eyes" tanline.

I only know one other blogger not listed in Steph's post, so Gena, you're tagged.

A Great Trip to the Desert

2008-10-02T15:52:00.000-05:00

The Towey family is back from a great trip to Arizona.

There was a ton of relaxation including time at the pool, golf (three rounds for me- shot a 92, 93, and 90...great scores for me), and LOTS of time for my parents to spend time with their grandson. They are great with him and AJ loves the attention.

Em also did her first Grand Canyon hike ever down to the 3-mile mark of the canyon. She and her dad had a great time and hiked impressively fast!

Hopefully, I can return to some regular blogging now that moving and vacationing are in the rear.

A public delaration of a private weakness

2008-09-26T23:02:00.000-05:00

There is one concept I have come to accept is a major weakness of mine. The ability to display moderation. I am sure that alcoholism is related in some major ways to my inability to enjoy and pursue things in moderation, after all it is the alcoholic mentality that says, "if one is good, than more is better".

It can be too much of a bad thing: alcohol, food, fun, pursuit of pleasure, etc. If I have some...I want more.
It can be too much of a great thing: weight loss, golf, Andrew, Emily, etc. If I have some, I want more.

You may think, simply cut out the bad and the good are....well, they are good! But even with the good I struggle to enjoy a balanced life. For example, I don't just enjoy golf this summer, I want to play EVERY day and when a round is over I begin to obsess about setting up the next tee time.

Is this characteristic a God-given part of my personality which I must control, or is it sinful at it's core (i.e. are my obsessions idols) and something I must rid myself of?

Someone help with some insight.

Lord...please help [Anonymous]

2008-09-24T19:37:00.000-05:00

A couple Sunday's ago, I was reading through our church's prayer list. I assume most churches have some form of this supplement to their bulletin. When filling out your prayer request, you have the option to remain anonymous. Many do.

It seems all-too necessary, yet all-too sad to think that any prayer request that could be at all "embarassing" would be listed as anonymous.

I think Christ must be ashamed that his people are so prone to gossip and judgement that we can't even attach our names to prayer requests.

Additionally, I have never been able to pray for a request labeled "anonymous". I feel like I need a name.

Any thoughts out there?

Old Poll/ New Poll

2008-09-22T16:52:00.001-05:00

The votes were pretty split on the last poll regarding gas/energy price problem. My answer is to go the way of France....nuclear energy powering electric cars.

France gets 80%-plus of their energy from nuclear power. It is safe, clean (all the nuclear waste the US has ever produced could fit on a football field), quite renewable (nuclear waste, after a time, contains a large amount of energy that could be reused), but expensive- at least to build the powerplants. In the meantime we should be drilling and any polititian that tells you he is for "the little guy" but against drilling is dishonest in my opinion.
The new poll is up regarding the current/upcoming television season....vote now!

Stressful times, growing times

2008-09-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the brief break in blogging. This has been quite a week. We have moved out of our home, into Emily's parents house (for the time being), celebrated AJ's first birthday, and tomorrow we officially close on the sale of our home and leave for Arizona for a much needed vacation.

This has been the most exhausting and stressful week in my sobriety since, well, exactly a year ago when Andrew came into the world.

In my sobriety I think I have controlled my environment as much as possible, managed stress levels, and sought routine as a "safety measure". The move has wiped all of that away. Things are in boxes who knows where, and days have been frantic, busy, and unpredictable. One "pre-alcoholism" personality trait that has not returned to me in sobriety is an easy-going demeanor. I used to be Mr. Go-with-the-flow. Now, I have to battle to stay calm. Perhaps, it is because this has been the first time in my life I have shouldered the responsibilites of a man. Will an easy-going way return to me? Don't know. Perhaps I will always battle stress and anxieties now that I act like an adult. I do hope, however, that the flexible and adaptable me returns to some degree.

I'll practice some while golfing in Arizona this week...

Moving out and moving on

2008-09-16T22:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight is our last night in our house. Tomorrow morning we get a Uhaul, load up what's left, and take off. We are a little sad about leaving, this is our first home and AJ's first house. We have some great memories here along with some very difficult ones. But most of all, Em and I will always remember it as where we began. It was a great little house.

We are also thankful to have sold it at a reasonable price in this tough market and that we have an opportunity to move to a house and a location that better suits our growing family.

This will truly be a family adventure to see what God has in store for us next.

Godly Contentment: A post by request

2008-09-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

This is a "Daily Surrender" first. Taking a request for my thoughts...I feel honored! My good friend Brenton wrote a post on his blog regarding Godly Contentment after a trip to the zoo together with our kids where I pointed out that he was continually pushing the group from exhibit to exhibit.

"I am always thinking about moving forward, moving up, moving past, and moving on. The great challenge I face is being happy and satisfied where I am in the moment.

...one point that hit me in the godly contentment talk was this - if you are not content with where you are and what you have, then you have a faith issue. Bam! That slapped me right across the face. The truth is, if I believe that God is sovereign and working all things for my good and His glory, then I had better be willing to live and serve joyfully right where He has me in the moment, trusting that all other moves are in His hands."

He suggested I could write something for those of us on the other end of the spectrum. So here it goes:

I found an amazing definition of contentment from Eastons 1897 Bible Dictionary that I thought was illuminating in and of itself:

"a state of mind in which one's desires are confined to his lot whatever it may be (1 Tim. 6:6; 2 Cor. 9:8). It is opposed to envy (James 3:16), avarice [greedy desire for wealth] (Heb. 13:5), ambition (Prov. 13:10), anxiety (Matt. 6:25, 34), and repining (1 Cor. 10:10). It arises from the inward disposition, and is the offspring of humility, and of an intelligent consideration of the rectitude and benignity of divine providence (Ps. 96:1, 2; 145), the greatness of the divine promises (2 Pet. 1:4), and our own unworthiness (Gen. 32:10); as well as from the view the gospel opens up to us of rest and peace hereafter (Rom. 5:2)."

Using this as a reference, I believe the struggle for someone who struggles with always moving forward, up, past, and on is that they have not confined their desires and ambitions to whatever their lot may be. As Brenton wrote, this does boil down to a faith issue regarding God's providential hand in his life and future.

On my side of the spectrum, I tend to live more contented "in the moment" than does my good friend. However I, and others like me, have our own weaknesses regarding contentedness.

Those who live in the now may become too interested in the now and unable or unwilling to look ahead. An obsession with the now can lead to sin, pleasure-seeking, irresponsibilty, and a resistance to change. Those who may be resistant to change may also have a faith issue. To be so focused on the now may be a response to uncertainty (lack of trust & faith) in the future God has in store for us. I know I have had the sinful thought of "might as well enjoy now because who knows what tomorrow will bring". You can only imagine that played a role in some of my alcoholic decision making.

To sum up, obviously our challenge is to be constantly striving for a contented spirit with "our lot" while avoiding a "now obsessed" lifestyle, to display a Godly responsibility regarding our future, and to keep a humility about God's ultimate sovereignty over our lives. It's simple, but not easy.

Hollywood "represents"!

2008-09-06T12:07:00.000-05:00

For any of you who feel that Hollywood rarely reflects your views and values, I have a movie for you to see. It's called "American Carol" and it is made by David Zucker (known for making such comedies as "Airplane!"and "The Naked Gun" series). Zucker has in the last few years come over to the conservative side of the political spectrum and is coming out of the closet, so to speak, with "American Carol".

American Carol is a spoof on the classic, Christmas Carol story. In Zucker's new film, Michael Moore (played by the late Chris Farely's brother) wants to abolish the 4th of July until he is visited by three ghosts who attempt to change his perception of the US.

It looks hilarious and comes out in early October.

Check out the trailer!

New Poll

2008-09-04T09:40:00.002-05:00

Well, the results are in and more of you believe AJ looks like Mom. I voted that way too...lucky boy if he looks more like her!

The new poll is up: What is your solution for the gas prices problem? You don't have to have all the facts and research to back up your vote, I'm just interested in what people's gut reaction tells them is the solution. I'll give my two cents when the poll is closed.

Our lot...

2008-09-03T15:01:00.001-05:00

Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin is being smeared as a hypocrite because she advocates "family values" and abstinence focused sex education but has a pregnant teenage daughter. This is a common attack of Republicans partially because we are more willing to talk about moral standards and "right and wrong" than are those on the left (who, generally, are more relativists in their moral thinking).

We as Christians also face this reality. We are often called hypocrites for "saying one thing and doing another".

The reality is that having values and knowing right and wrong does not require perfect adherence to these principles. It does not make one a hypocrite. It should, however, keep us from self-righteousness as we realize that all of us struggle.

This whole issue reminds me of a cartoon I recently saw.

Big Book Wisdom: Part IV

2008-08-29T11:25:00.003-05:00

I haven't written a "Big Book Wisdom" in a while...some recent contact with some folks struggling in recovery has inspired another post of this sort.

For those of you who are not Alcoholics, this is another post that is completely relatable to our Christian walk.

In The Big Book, "Bill's Story" is the first chapter and it details one of the creators of AA's own battle with alcohol. Bill discusses three failed solutions to his problem with alcohol and, I think, what will be three failed solutions to staying sober for those of us in recovery.

1) "I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever." He drank again. Bill's first failed solution...will power.

2) "...It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor, though it often remains strong in other respects. My incredible behavior in the face of a desperate desire to stop was explained. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope." He drank again. Bill's second failed solution...self-knowledge.

3) "...Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again." Bill's third failed solution...fear.

While each of Bill's failed solutions are helpful to explore they will ultimately fail...the only way to get sober and remain sober is being in a fit spiritual condition. Much like for the believer in God- neither will power, self-knowledge, nor fear of God can lead us away from sin and into right relationship with Him. Only a change in our spiritual condition.

Laugh for a moment

2008-08-26T15:21:00.002-05:00

No deep topics today...just a video that made me laugh out loud. News anchors that can't stop laughing at a model who falls twice on the runway.

Watch the models feet...she tries to catch herself from falling but cannot...you have to watch this video with the sound...the anchors laugh add to the humor!

Some views I just can't understand...

2008-08-25T09:57:00.001-05:00

There are many political and cultural viewpoints that I do not agree with, but I can understand the reasoning behind them. I see where a person is coming from...I simply have different values and a different understanding of the world.

Then there are views that, no joke, baffle me.

A friend of mine on facebook recently joined three different facebook groups within a matter of a day. Her selections made me shake my head in confusion. Take a second to think about these three groups and what I consider to be flawed thinking and confused values.

Group #1: The Human Rights Campaign
Group #2: The Humane Society of the United States
Group #3: Planned Parenthood

See my point?

Great Grams...meet AJ

2008-08-22T08:40:00.002-05:00

Today AJ got a chance to meet his Great Grandma Jean. She is my mom's mom and in town from the Phoenix area. We were able to spend the afternoon and evening together and enjoyed some playtime, dinner, and bathtime together. My mom also came down later in the evening and Andrew put on a good show, whooping it up with all of the attention. It was amazing to think of the four generations represented in my house this evening. It was a ton of fun for everyone.

New Poll is up!

2008-08-21T20:54:00.003-05:00

A new poll is up.

Emily and I have had mixed responses on who AJ looks like.

Who do you think he currently looks like. Me or Emily?

If we can't laugh at ourselves...

2008-08-17T21:30:00.002-05:00

Okay, fellow Christians...this is too funny not to write. If I offend any of you, then you can't laugh at yourself (or believers as a group).

There is a Christian news outlet online called OneNewsNow who apparently finds the word "Gay" inappropriate and has software that automatically changes "Gay" to "Homosexual" in it's news reporting.

They did not however, anticipate a story written about Olympic runner Tyson Gay. The software did it's job and changed all occurances of his last name- here's a sampling of how the story read:

"Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn't count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here's what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he's certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."

We have to laugh at ourselves for this one. Here's the whole story.

One Booger is enough!

2008-08-16T07:39:00.001-05:00

A weird and slightly scary story out of Seoul, South Korea. A woman paid $50,000 to recieve five cloned puppies of her late dog, "Booger". She was the first customer of Seoul-based RNL Bio.

This is scary for a few reasons:

The woman was quoted as saying, ""Yes, I know you! You know me, too!" to the puppies. Does she not realize that she only knows their DNA...not the individual creature each of them is. Identical twin humans have the same DNA...we do not consider them the same person.
She was willing to pay $50,000 (by the way, she recieved a discount as the first customer, RNL Bio will charge up to $150,000 for cloned dogs for future customers)
Even if we ban cloning in the US, it appears that Asian countries will continue to work on the science of cloning. How creepy is the idea of human cloning...so many huge moral problems with that prospect.

Funny Olympic sports that are no more

2008-08-15T07:52:00.001-05:00

The Olympics are in full swing. I have to admit, no matter how bad I want to "get into" the summer olympics...I never can. The winter olympics are way more interesting to me. There are always some weird events that leave you wondering...how did these make it into the olympic games?

There have also been many events that have been discontinued. Some you know: Golf, Rugby, and Polo for instance. Some you have heard of but seem to have no place in the realm of "sporting contests": Croquet, Motor Boating, and Standing Long Jump are good examples. Then there are the weird events you've never heard of (click for info!) Jeu de Paume, Racquets, and Pelota are a few. Then there is the hilarious contests such as: Tug-of-War, Plunge for distance, rope climb, pigeon shooting (PETA would love this one), and duelling pistol (in which the last Olympian alive must have gotten the Gold)

Sold!

2008-08-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

Em and I accepted an offer on our home on Tuesday. It was such an interesting display of God's control, timing, and provision. We had just made our peace with the idea of taking our house off the market for a while and staying here for the next year or so. Sure enough, God had a buyer for us who hit our "magic number" and we accepted. While we are a little saddened to leave our first home, we are so excited about the prosect of owning our first home (single family home) and enjoying a yard, neighborhood, and all that comes with owning a house rather than a townhome. If all goes as we pray it will, we will have a home with enough space for a family the size we'd like to have in the future, closer distance to family, and hopefully will cut down some on Em's commute to work. We plan to live with Emily's parents in Eden Prairie for a few months while we search for a home (and save a little money!).

Some things you could pray for the Towey crew:

That the sale goes through and goes smoothly
That I deal with the stresses and anxieties I will almost certainly feel as we need to be out in 5 weeks
That our time living with Em's parents goes well for all parties
That we make wise decisions and listen to God's guidance in our purchasing of a home

I am slightly apprehensive of all of this from a recovery standpoint. Not that I'm going to drink again, but that I may struggle with some of the underlying issues I battle. For the duration of my recovery I have been in "Stress Management" mode (as much as you can with an infant). I have tried to be slow and careful in adding too much, too soon. I think now is a safe time for me for a big change like this, but it is the kind of stress and anxiety I have to be careful with. I just may have to do a little more work in my program of recovery.

We are so excited and feel like this will be another amazing adventure in our lives.

Dark Knight as a youngster

2008-08-13T23:30:00.002-05:00

I wrote previously on The Dark Knight, the new Batman movie which I loved. I also am a huge fan of Christian Bale in general who starred in The Prestige (awesome movie) and a lesser known movie called Empire of the Sun. If you haven't seen it, you should. It is a story about a spoiled young boy caught up in World War II and his confusing journey through the war and childhood. I have fond memories of watching this movie with my parents when I was young and trying hard to stay awake until the end.

The movie also features my all-time favorite lullaby, named Suo Gân. It is a Welsh lullaby by a anonymous composer. I hum the tune to Andrew daily.

Here are the lyrics translated into English...I think quite poetic and beautiful.

Sleep my baby, at my breast,
’Tis a mother’s arms round you.
Make yourself a snug, warm nest.
Feel my love forever new.
Harm will not meet you in sleep,
Hurt will always pass you by.
Child beloved, always you’ll keep,
In sleep gentle, mother’s breast nigh.
Sleep in peace tonight, sleep,
O sleep gently, what a sight.
A smile I see in slumber deep,
What visions make your face bright?
Are the angels above smiling,
At you in your peaceful rest?
Are you beaming back while in
Peaceful slumber on mother’s breast?
Do not fear the sound, it’s a breeze
Brushing leaves against the door.
Do not dread the murmuring seas,
Lonely waves washing the shore.
Sleep child mine, there’s nothing here,
While in slumber at my breast,
Angels smiling, have no fear,
Holy angels guard your rest.

Big Blessings

2008-08-13T12:19:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to my closest female friend Steph who was hired this week to teach 5th Grade in Northfield. She has had some doors closed along the way recently and it is exciting to see God deliver what sounds like a great fit for her and her family. Changes ahead for Stephy...some great, some difficult I'm sure. But she is gifted with children and will be a blessing to kids in Northfield.

Way to go Steph!

New Poll

2008-08-13T11:37:00.001-05:00

The last poll was very interesting. I thought American Idol would dominate peoples favorite performance show. It didn't! So You Think You Can Dance won, and I agree. It is such a better talent to watch on television compared to singing.

The new poll is up. The recent cooler weather has me thinking autumn. As you look forward to autumn...what do you look forward to?

Pictures from the Cabin...

2008-08-05T21:41:00.009-05:00

Playing with Cousin Olivia and Grandpa Jimbo

Volleyball spectator...

Chow time....

Let me explain...

2008-08-05T21:37:00.000-05:00

For the few of you who are faithful readers of my blog...I apologize for my brief break I took from posting. Em, Andrew, and I all had a stomach bug at varying times throughout last week causing time and energy to be at a low.

We are now on vacation in northern Minnesota enjoying a week of resort-cabin life.

Upon our return, I will return to semi-daily postings!

Dark Knight

2008-07-24T06:12:00.000-05:00

On Sunday Em and I went to see the second Batman movie, "Dark Knight". If any of you haven't given the Batman movies starring Christian Bale a chance, I highly recommend doing so. It is not a comic book-like telling of the story...it's really like "Batman for adults".

"Dark Knight" had some darkness, creepiness, and violence but a great story. Heath Ledger as the Joker was phenomenal.

Themes I like in this Batman series:

Good vs. Evil
Life is not fair
It is more difficult to impact the world for good rather than evil
We need heroes and inspirational people
Some people do evil just because they can

There are many others, and if you don't want to think...just go enjoy the great story!

P.S. Please don't bring 8 year-olds (like we saw in the theatre). Despite the PG-13 rating...this movie is not for kids!

Pastor Pal

2008-07-23T06:54:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, Emily and I attended a small church in Northfield because my friend, Brenton, was preaching. It was a fun experience in many ways. I always love visiting small churches because it is such a different experience from our church. I must admit, I have to battle being overly critical of the "performance" of everything because I'm used to such a smooth, planned-out-to-a-t style of Wooddale. At the same time, there are so many neat aspects to a smaller church. For instance, the children get to go up front and wave flags during the worship time. I loved that. Plus everyone feels an increased responsibility to greet and be social with one another.

Brenton preached on the role of bread in the Bible. He did a great job and it was fun for me to see my good friend get to use his gifts in a way he loves.

Plus, it was the first time in my life that after sitting through church the pastor asked me my thoughts on his sermon!

Poll Results and New Poll

2008-07-22T15:39:00.002-05:00

In the last poll I asked what your response would have been or will be if your 18-year old decided to join the military. I am surprised and very happy to see that 89% of you voted you would support their decision even if you had fear for their lives.

This encourages me because it appears more and more that America is no longer the land of the brave. We seem to have a difficult time stomaching the relatively small numbers of casualties in the Iraq war (as compared to Vietnam, for example). Don't get me wrong, I would be scared to death if my child was in a war. But the safety and freedom we enjoy was built on the blood of sons, brothers, and husbands and more lives will be lost in order to keep it.

I understand many will say it is THIS war that I am unwilling to die for...I get that. I am not looking to debate the Iraq war here. Rather, I am making the point that evil will win when the good no longer have the courage to fight them.

The new poll is up:

Em and I have really been enjoying the T.V. show, "So You Think You Can Dance" lately.

What is your favorite "performance reality show"?

Luck is a four letter word

2008-07-16T22:39:00.006-05:00

Em and I had our Bible study group tonight. We are currently studying the book of Ruth via Mark Driscoll podcasted sermons from Mars Hill Church. It has been a great medium to learn by listening to great sermons rather than reading a book or attending a sermon. Somehow you focus much better without any visual distractions.

We studied the subtle irony the author uses to make a point in Ruth 2:3

"So she set out and went and gleaned in the field after the reapers, and she happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the clan of Elimelech. "

Boaz proceeds to bless Ruth in many ways (and eventually marries her) This verse is using some ironic language to show God's providence in our lives. This is what secular folks would consider luck, fortune, or coincidence. But Ruth did not just happen to be in the right place, it was not luck that brought Boaz into her life, but the providential blessing of a good and sovereign God. Fortune indicates randomness, while blessing indicates providence.

Our group had some lively discussions about the use of the word luck, fortune, and coincidence. I wonder how often we Christians give credit to the false god of Fortune (Isaiah 65:11) to events in our lives. Although it slips out from time to time, I do not believe luck should be a word in the vocabulary of a believer in Jesus. It is inaccurate, and a poor witness. For those of you Christians who believe that God isn't in "every little detail"of life, I believe you may have a incomplete view of our God who is intimately involved in life's details of those whom he has called.

While I may not shout "surely I have been blessed by God!" after sinking a long par-putt on the golf course, I also will try not to give any credit to the false god of Fortune, luck, or coincidence.

I hope you happen to have a great day!

Comments and challenges welcome!

Two quick parenting topics

2008-07-13T13:15:00.007-05:00

Two great items on parenting you should check out.

1) A friend recently posted this video on his blog. It is about 10 minutes long and is great fun. It seems like our culture doesn't allow kids (boys especially) get involved in anything dangerous anymore. The short talk is entitled: "Five dangerous things you should let your kids do".

2) Also, I heard Charles J. Sykes interviewed on the radio regarding his book, 50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education

Here's a couple of the rules I liked best:

#1 Life is not fair. Get used to it.
#2. The real world won’t care as much as your school does about your self-esteem. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
#3. Sorry, you won't make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be vice president or have a company car. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a designer label.
#7 If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you FEEL about it.
#15 Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it “opportunity.”
#9 Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t.
#14 Looking like a slut does not empower you
#19. It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are responsible.
#22. You are not a victim. So stop whining.
#47 You are not perfect, and you don’t have to be.
#50 Enjoy this while you can.

Are you living under a "Kindergarchy"?

2008-07-11T17:25:00.002-05:00

I listened to an author on talk radio recently who wrote an article called "The Kindergarchy" . It analyzes the current parental trend of making our children the focus of the family to the point that may be unhelpful if not unhealthy.

Here's the start of the article to get you started:

"In America we are currently living in a Kindergarchy, under rule by children. People who are raising, or have recently raised, or have even been around children a fair amount in recent years will, I think, immediately sense what I have in mind. Children have gone from background to foreground figures in domestic life, with more and more attention centered on them, their upbringing, their small accomplishments, their right relationship with parents and grandparents. For the past 30 years at least, we have been lavishing vast expense and anxiety on our children in ways that are unprecedented in American and in perhaps any other national life. Such has been the weight of all this concern about children that it has exercised a subtle but pervasive tyranny of its own. This is what I call Kindergarchy: dreary, boring, sadly misguided Kindergarchy."

It's a interesting and brief read. I certainly don't agree with everything he writes, but the main philosophy will make you think...

New Poll

2008-07-10T16:09:00.004-05:00

Moveon.org continues to put out ads that help conservatives in ways they do not intend...for that reason, I hope they keep making them! It twists McCain's words and even more, shows a mother determined to so dominate her son as to prevent him from enlisting. I can appreciate the fear of losing a child in war, but if those who are good are unwilling to put ourselves (or our children) in harms way...we will lose to those who want to do evil

This video has inspired the next poll: What would have (for those with adult children) or will be (for those of us with kids under 18) your response if your 18-year old child says he/she would like to join the military?

Week in Review

2008-07-10T11:56:00.005-05:00

Summer is proving a new challenge to blogging...less time sitting around indoors. I have found it difficult to find the time to write.

A quick QUICK recap:

-The 4th of July saw 16 friends, family, and children to the Towey household...a total blast

-Grandma Kates and Grandpa Jeff went swimming with Andrew for the first time over the weekend...our little AJ found the courage to crawl into water way too deep for him! I am strangely proud when I see my little man venture out into the world with courage

-Monday I golfed in The Retreat's fundraiser at Rush Creek golf course in Maple Grove. My dad joined me and we really enjoyed our day. Rush Creek is an AMAZING course...if you golfers ever get the chance to play there you should go (maybe with me next year!?!?)

-Today I stopped in at CVS for a few items and the sign pictured here caught my eye. Where does this leave me as a father of an infant? Would you park there (it is an awesome parking spot!) if you were me?

Funny commercial

2008-07-04T07:27:00.002-05:00

Even alcoholics can enjoy Beer commercials! This might be my favorite ongoing line of ads...heard this one on the radio recently.

"Cliff's Notes" version of Twins games

2008-07-03T12:26:00.002-05:00

If any of you enjoy the Twins but struggle to find three and a half hours to watch a baseball game there is a great new option for you called "Twins Squeeze Play" on the Fox Sports Net channel. They edit an entire baseball game down to 30 minutes only showing you the outs and balls hit in play. It is a great option for when you're short on time! Also, the games that aren't on T.V. still are shown on Squeeze Play. Give it a shot!

Girl Grounded, Judge Overrules...yikes

2008-07-03T08:10:00.005-05:00

In Quebec, a father of a 12-year old forbid his daughter to attend a school trip because of her inappropriate behavior online. The child objected and took her father to court. She won the case in court and the father's punishment was overruled.

Read about it here....it is a little scary to think this is possible.

The last line of the story is sad but very understandable from the dad's point of view:

The father, who is appealing the decision, was "devastated" by the ruling, and is refusing to take his daughter back "because he has no authority over her."

Daily Surrender

Thought for the day

I didn't see this in the real estate ad

Two years down...life to go!

Neighbor News

Be thankful it's just Swine Flu

In defense of marriage

Old Poll/New Poll: This house bans guns on premises

A chick, a cowboy, a princess, and Darth Vader

Tuned In

A financial challenge, during financial challenge

Old Poll/ New Poll

Back to life...back to reality!

"This Alcoholic is being brought to you in part by..."

A St. Paddy's gift to you from Mr. O'Towey: If you like Coldplay then...

If just for a day...

Two unsavory topics

Old Poll/New Poll: Octomom

We're done as a society: Don't Go Girl!

White shirts and name tags riding their bikes to hell...

The numbers are in...it's that bad!

Prayer to the sky fairy

Adieu my good friend

Release...not reload

Who let the dogs out...woof, woof %&#*@!*!

Top ten signs you attend a mega-church

Word World-aholic

We're done as a society: Super-slease

Patience & Pride

Old Poll/New Poll

AA Wisdom

New Poll!

We're outta here!

One big day...two different perspectives

More from the "religion of peace"

A big day for the Towey family

The gift of time

Feeling "croupy"

Beware the "Poster Child"

I'd like your used item...and my life please!

We're done as a society: The death of more Americana

Holy Gator!

Stuff my stocking with...a more accurate hermeneutic!

...the only cure is more cowbell

We're done as a society Friday: Death by discount shopper

More than turkey, football, and family

Barber and bubbles

We're done as a society Friday: Diversit-e-harmony

The view is nice, in the eye of the storm

Old Poll/ New Poll

Veteran's Day and my generation

Redbox etiquette: A lesson in social norms and mores

An honest answer...finally.

A new site, for new interest

New President, New Poll

How Would Jesus Vote?

Autumn Fun

Divisive Boone: Excluding of women, minorities, international students and faculty? What?

AJ at 13 months

AA Wisdom- Step Six

Hard to see...important to see

Poll Analysis

Handle prosperity well (for dummies)

New Poll

Wishing Ill on Il, and OJ Simpson

Random Things About Me

A Great Trip to the Desert

A public delaration of a private weakness

Lord...please help [Anonymous]

Old Poll/ New Poll

Stressful times, growing times

Moving out and moving on

Godly Contentment: A post by request

Hollywood "represents"!

New Poll

Our lot...

Big Book Wisdom: Part IV

Laugh for a moment

Some views I just can't understand...

Great Grams...meet AJ

Who let the dogs out...woof, woof %&#@!!